Whenever people go through bad times, some say it is like a Phoenix rising from the ashes type of scenario. Basically, everything around you has burnt down but you still survived. With all the rubble around you, you’re able to stand up, walk through the flames, and dust yourself off. You may have done this several times in your life, but this time feels different. This time, it feels more permanent.

I feel that the issues that have come to light are creating or paving a path for us as humans to become better individuals. I understand that not all of us is on board and that’s fine. You’ll get there when the time is right for you. But for those of us who are on board with the change, I would like to share three tips that may help navigate you during the choppy days ahead.

Tip Numero Uno: If you don’t understand something, ask someone to help you understand or research what it is that you’re trying to understand.

Simple right? Unfortunately for some, this is not an easy task. If you are shy, your pride won’t allow you to ask, passive aggressive, or just don’t feel like talking to someone, then pick up a book for your laptop and educate yourself.  want to learn more about black lives matter? Go to the black lives matter website and read what their mission is. Want to know about the NAACP? Go on their website and research and find the answers that you seek regarding that organization. 

Those are just some samples. But if you’re looking for answers to why do men think this way and why do women think that way, google your question and you should have over 1 million results. One or several of those results may point you in the right direction. But overall, don’t sit in silence not knowing or understanding things. It’s OK to ask questions if you don’t know. I got so many confusing answers regarding COVID-19 that I signed up to take a course just to get a clearer understanding of what we need to know to navigate this new way of life. I’m not saying for you to go to that type of extreme, but it’s something that extreme for you to be able to understand, then do that.

Tip Number 2: Don’t do too much too soon.

You don’t want to overwhelm yourself by trying to totally change or adapt to change overnight. It’s not cool to fake it till you make it in this circumstance, either. This time, faking it is not an option. You can keep faking orgasms if you still do that, but don’t fake change.

The reason why I’m emphasizing on the word fake is because of this: you can’t be genuine if you’re presenting fakeness to others and to yourself. You live in your own skin day in and day out. With every decision and every word that flows through you and out of you, YOU own that. Being fake is not a good way of life. If you’re not getting paid for it, please don’t be fake.

Tip 3: Mentally stimulate and acknowledge yourself daily.

Tell yourself every day how beautiful you are. Tell yourself how successful you are and how success pours through your pores. Tell yourself I love you each and every day. Sing a song about love and dedicated to yourself. Sit in your backyard or go to the park or the beach and place your feet in the dirt or the sand. 

Close your eyes and do deep breathing exercises. Take a 30 minute break from reality and be at peace with yourself. All of these suggestions can help you find a sliver of inner peace. You can find other suggestions online that may be more suitable for you and your personality. Whatever captures your eye, add your own pinch of uniqueness to it to make it your own. 

Whatever “this” change is, how “this” is affecting you, use it for good.