As a young child I was taught many things. I was taught manners, how to cross the street, how to pray before eating, and a variety of other things. One thing from my childhood that sticks out the most is the freedom I felt. My great grandparents were not the type that would scold me or disciplined in a “do as I say not as I do” authoritarian way. They asked me how I felt regarding things. They spoke to me as if what I was saying was important. I would be corrected if I was not understanding certain things. I felt like I mattered.

Once I became an adult, I wanted to make sure that the same values that was instilled in me from my great grandparents were passed down to my own children. So far, I have achieved doing that in three out of the six children that I have. The other three are still learning. I love the fact that I have taught my children how to be able to speak their mind in a respectful manner. I love being able to have an engaging conversation with my 11-year-old and we both enjoy it. I love listening to my 12-year-old say to me how she’s working on accomplishing her goals. I love how my three-year-old shows me every day that she is building her mind by taking in as much knowledge as her little mind can contain. The amazing part, is she uses what she learns every day.

Even though I smile from cheek to cheek looking at how my three younger children are developing, there are others who feel as if this type of development can be looked at in a disrespectful manner in the eyes of an adult. Let me explain. My children, 11 and 12-year-old, love using vocabulary words. They have a large vocabulary. At times, they will engage in a conversation with one of their peers or an adult and use words that typical 11 and 12-year-olds do not use. Kids look confused sometimes, and adults are shocked at how wise they sound. One adult, however, made my daughter feel like she should “dumb herself down”. She stated the word “technically” during an explanation she was giving about Pluto. The adult asked her if she can name all the planets. She stated “The commonly known planets are X,Y, and Z. But technically, there are many more planets than that.” The adult was impressed by what she said, but was also thrown by the word “technically”. The adult said to me that when a child says the word “technically”, it is looked at as a form of disrespect. Unfortunately, I have heard other adults express that a child should not use the word “technically”.

I mention all of this for a reason: I strongly believe that children have voices too. I keep hearing adults speaking about children as if they don’t have a right to have feelings, to have a voice, to have their own sense of individuality. And it’s disheartening. We did not become adults overnight and I cannot understand how there are masses of adults who will discredit a child simply because of the fact that they decided to forget how it feels to be a child. Or they were taught that they had to do as the adults say and not as the adults do. Either way it goes, it’s wrong. We have to listen to the next generation. They are growing and learning. They see what we as adults are experiencing and wondering what they can do to help. They want us as parents and guardians to tell them, in a kid-friendly way, what is happening in the world. And not what your opinion of the matter is. Tell the the truth in an abbreviated way that they can understand. If the information is padded with our personal adult opinions solely, regardless of how close to the truth it is, could inadvertently pass down your own fear to your child. We cannot afford to pass on the fears that we have as adults onto our children. When we do this, we could inadvertently pass on a new set of generational constraints that will take a new generation to fix.

We have to start being more mindful of the children. My children are fully aware of what has taken place over the past few months, from the COVID-19 pandemic down to the shooting of Mr. Rayshard Brooks. I engage with them. I take a temperature on their emotions surrounding events in our world today. I’m not the perfect parent, but I know that when I take the time out to sit down and listen to my children’s feelings, it makes me aware of what’s going on in their little minds. It also helps them to vocalize what it is that they are feeling. So from one adult who has multiple children in her life, please let’s start including our children in these talks. Let’s find out how our children really feel and work on fixing those issues the best way we can.