Pride Is Debilitating

Disclaimer: this post was originally created on July 21, 2021.

My head keeps spinning around this one idea: I have allowed pride to keep me from my destiny. This idea keeps rotating in my head, and I just need to dump it out. I have been a very independent person for many years. First, I only had to care for myself, then family life came along, taking care of me, my kids, a significant other, etc. The list goes on and on. My independence got the best of me, and I can’t even blame it on autonomy. Let me explain.

I had an unorthodox upbringing. Due to the experience I had in my childhood, I decided that I would make sure that I take care of myself to the fullest. Especially financially. So as an adult, whenever I am in dire need, I rely on myself to fix the situation. Unless I’m incredibly desperate, I do not rely on others. That way of thinking has cost me over the years.

Even though I love my independence, it has caused an unnecessary hindrance to me. There have been times when I thought of someone else’s feelings and disregarded my own. Why not blame it on vanity, you may ask? Well, I don’t care about a person’s perception of me. That’s none of my business. However, I do care about the type of relationship I develop with others. I treat others the way that I want to be treated. It feels great doing good for and with others. Because I take pride in how I project my image to others, I care more about being reliable and helping others when they call on me than I do about my reality. 

I learned a lesson from this and wanted to pass forward what I learned. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I do see a shimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. I say that because I  discovered that asking for help, getting what you deserve, and accepting gifts/support is not a sign of weakness. I felt like I had to handle everything myself. I heard stories in the past of how men did not like women who were dependent upon them 100%. Or how people don’t like to help other people. Or, if someone supports you, they look into how they can benefit from you. Having those negative thoughts in my head stopped me from frankly a lot. And I just discovered this recently. No matter how much manifesting I do, pride is one stumbling block that I fix.

I try to keep a positive outlook on life. But pride has always been there. And as long as that pride exists, no matter how much positivity I have, a sliver of negativity will still get it. So if you have struggled with being too independent, learn along with me. There is nothing wrong with people being independent. It becomes a problem when we, as the independent ones, don’t feel as if we have a voice to cry out in our time of need.