Deeper Issues
⚠️Warning⚠️
This opinionated topic concerns a mental disorder and its close characteristics to narcissism. Bipolar Disorder/Maniac Depression (NIMH) is easy to hide from and for most people. Not everyone who lives with this disorder displays these characteristics. Unfortunately, those who live with this can cause others to label them as toxic or narcissistic. But they suffer mentally and sometimes don’t want others to know.
Have you ever dealt with the side effects of dealing with a narcissistic person? If you have, then you know it is a draining experience. It drains you in many ways. But have you ever thought that the person you are dealing with might have a mental disorder that appears to mimic narcissism? Recently, I found that to be true.
I wanted to help this person become someone I thought they had lost. Unfortunately, I exhausted myself trying to help someone resurrect a personality that didn’t exist. I asked for years if the person could have a mental disability, and I was told no. Problems continued to surface at a rapid-fire pace. I try to keep up, but logically I can’t. Because I needed clarity, I decided to research the behaviors, and all I got was the term narcissist. Narcissist this, narcissist that. I thought I was one for a moment until five months ago.
I was sitting in my sunroom, trying to wrap my mind around the latest crap show that went down, and a news notification caught my attention. The article (CNN) spoke about how a drug used for recreational use could help someone who has bipolar disorder. At the time, I knew only one person diagnosed with bipolar. I commented aloud how great it was that there would be a treatment soon. I was asked what I stated, and after I responded, the following sentence threw me into a mental whirlwind: “I’m going to sign up for it.”
My only thought: Why would someone who doesn’t have bipolar sign up for treatment? I asked: do you have bipolar? I was told yes. At that moment, everything started to make sense! It made sense from the earlier issues I had with this person. Unfortunately, I became angry for not knowing this from the beginning. I started feeling bad because of how I responded to this person during their manic episodes. I have tried my best to help with as much guidance, love, and care as I have had throughout the years. But the problem for me is that I was trying to fix something I was unaware of. Suppose I had been given the right to be with someone with this disorder. In that case, I could have been able to educate myself properly before entering a relationship with someone with this disorder. It doesn't sound good to state that, but it’s my truth. Had I been informed, I would not have the current issues. It causes me to regret how I responded to situations between that person and me. I regret not being able to be what that person needed me to be for them. But I also feel like if I had known, I could have chosen if I wanted to be in a situationship.
Life always throws out side effects. We never truly know the people that we interact with. However, I feel like with health statuses, mental health status should be something that people have to disclose. I feel like everyone has the right to love. Everyone has the right to be in a relationship both agree to be in. I firmly believe that people with mental health issues should inform the person that they are dating of anything that will affect the relationship moving forward. As a person who doesn’t have that disability, it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around what is happening with someone in a manic state. Bipolar episodes are nothing to play with but giving your significant other the heads up will help them prepare for anything that may come.
Some people may look at what I just stated as wrong. Trust me; I understand that. But what if you’re the person who has the issue and you’re with someone who does not understand you? How would you feel being with someone who doesn’t understand your affliction? It’s like someone being with someone with fibromyalgia, and just because they look normal, you feel like there’s nothing wrong with them. Unfortunately, looks are deceiving. The person who has fibromyalgia may be in a very bad flareup, and to you, not knowing what they are afflicted with, you will look at it as the person being lazy.
When you’re not willing to share your physical and mental health status, the person you are with may not know how to help you. That is the reason for this blog. For those who suffer from this type of mental illness and are in a dysfunctional relationship, things will get better if you receive the help you need. To those who live this reality, only you know what the next step looks like. I do encourage you to seek a trained and licensed therapist. They can help you learn how to live with your significant other or help you rediscover yourself once you walk away. Unfortunately, you may have to end the relationship for things to improve. Ensure that your mind, body, and heart are aligned with your decision.
